Eyes to the front of the bus please....

Road trips are all about what you see, journaling, pictures and having a great time.  Looking out the car window whether you're driving or just a passenger holds many different perspectives.  


Driving has a narrow perspective as the focus is the road and half of your thoughts are of, hopefully, safety.  My thoughts are usually all over the place.. taking in the sites, stories I've heard of a particular place, memories from seeing one thing or another, conversations in the car... etc.  However, the driver usually sees attractions faster then the others.   This does not always include the wondrous.  


I've seen all kinds of roadkill.  Not the animals in themselves, but the way they've been sprayed against the ground.   My mind immediately goes to the most gruesome, because that's just how my mind works.  Thankfully I don't remember most of it, just that I couldn't believe how a car or truck could do that much damage.






I think back on some of the instances of my life that my mind instinctively closed itself off and protected my sanity, well, most of it.  I have come to the conclusion after all these years that there is a reason for everything.  It is such a cliche.  However, my observance has found years later I am still learning, shying away, taking in, using what has been put in front of me.


And then there's post-traumatic stress syndrome.  There is several periods of my life I do not remember and I don't think I would like to.  I am remembering as I mature and grow.  Memories pop up in situations that later, I now associate them with lesser traumatic situations.

I believe that God will help us to forget things, the memory of which would do us harm, or rather that He will enable us to remember only so much of them as will be for our good, and we, ourselves, not emotionally overwhelmed. The pain endured. The lesson learned. Let it now be forgotten! Face the future with courage, cheerfulness, and hope. Give God the chance and He will make you forget all that it would be harmful to remember. 
-W.E. (William Edwin) Sangster, Westminster Sermons

I had a discussion with a friend where I found out some information I was blinded to.  Days before I was thinking about this same person, wrestling with  memories and why they were pushing to the forefront of my mind.  After praying, I found I was to tell this person I loved them.  


Yikes... 


I knew I did because of the time we spent together.. but this was years later and we both were in relationships.   I knew it wasn't a relationship love... but a we're in God's family together love.  A tolerance, I will love you because God loves you love.  A forgiving love.  This message, knowing the intended person, if the timing was wrong, would take it wrong and the true meaning would be lost.  I again prayed that if I was to tell them this, the situation would present itself...

it did...


3 days later, we started chatting during a words with friends game and the conversation turned to where I found out some information I may have, in the past, slashed tires, called in a few favors and given some meaning to, "a woman hath no fury like a woman scorned".  


In this instance though, my mind immediately went to 3 days before and I relayed the message.  I could hear the sigh of relief from 1000 miles away.  I still had questions about the whole relationship, but those are just details and really don't need to be answered.  However, my grief and confusion about that particular encompassing relationship was validated which brought peace to both of us.  


I tell my kids to listen to my advice and suggestions because I have more miles under my belt, experienced more and that's why I'm so much taller than them... I can see farther.  (Although this logic of being taller was tried and crushed much to the disappointment of Thing 2).  Too big for your britches


I need to realize this of my own Father in heaven... 

Isaiah 55:8-9

For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.

 Jeremiah 33:3

Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things,
which you do not know.'

Isaiah 41:10

Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'

Stack of one pancake please...

My daughter has started to follow in my footsteps with the love of cooking.  She has made spaghetti, tuna salad and a cookie cake.  Not just once, but several times.


All VERY good.  And she knows it.


Now she is learning to follow recipes.  She did a very good job even when she had to cut all the amounts of ingredients in half.  She loves a high stack of pancakes, and a half recipe of these pancakes makes a stack of 5 size able fluffy pancakes. 


As I'm washing dishes, I start smelling a hot, burning, sugar smell you only get from pancakes.  I don't turn around and wait for her to ask for help.  With all of her projects, school and challenges she faces, she is also following this not so very good quality of mine.... not asking for help.


After about 5 minutes... in a very disappointed, frustrated, and dejected voice, "MOOOOM, these pancakes aren't turning oooouuuuut!"


Thus starts the lesson... and as I'm teaching her the lesson of added sugar in batter makes for increased toasty-ness  AND  patience makes for less gooey-ness   AND   less heat makes for that beautiful tan/brown-ness on either side of the pancake  AND  asking for help in the beginning give you a wonderful stack of 5 perfected, warm pancakes.


I realized, through all this, God was talking to me... AGAIN....


ASK... and I will help you.  SEEK and you will find perfection in HIM.  FIND and you will be comforted.... not with a stack of perfected, warm pancakes but something better....with his LOVE, GRACE and MERCY.

Are you going to cowgirl up, or lay there and bleed.

My son is all about instructions... He has a bin full of Lego, Bionicle, and any other toy instructions he has received in the last 3 years.   If he can't find the instructions he wants to build, he looks for them online.  I am even more amazed at how he can follow them.  He is a detail boy.
 However, he becomes FRUSTRATED when he gets at the end and things just don't fit together just right.  At those very rare times he needs my help, I find, usually, he has substituted a part that works, but makes the accessories inaccessible or off kilter... and when you are in battle and that trident/slasher/spear combination weapon cannot be grabbed quickly with that third claw/hand/appendage-type-thingy to make the kill shot. 

On a personal note, my own instructions have not been followed.  I find I throw away my own instructions or man up and say "I know myself, why do I need instructions?"  While God is laughing... I find myself doubting, double thinking my decisions and in the end throwing my confidence right out the window.  Nothing is worse than a person with no confidence.. we call those people spineless.

God gives us a gift and we sit there and say "I"ll take it from here",  "Why doesn't this work?", "Why is this happening?", "Why don't you care about me?", or "It's just not good enough".

A gift is put into our hands and  we don't know what it is.  We have lots of ideas about it.  We may or may not believe it is ours and not use it at all.  We use it for our own enjoyment.  It has a shelf life.  It has instructions. It can be put together as what we think it should look like, work like... but through all of our mutterings, questions, internal dialogue, we are getting the instructions right from the Creator, Engineer, Manufacturer.  Our own ideas may work... but we become frustrated time and time again, thinking, I'm not working hard enough, I don't have enough money, I don't have enough things, friends, etc, etc, etc.......

I am reminded of Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium.  She finds out she needs to trust in herself, know the gift she has all along and the shop comes to life with her own inner magic.

In Max Lucado's book, You are Mine, 'Everyone needed boxes and balls. They were the latest thing! Fancy balls. Colorful boxes. All the Wemmicks had them. All, that is, except Punchinello. Not wanting to be left out, he resolved to fit in. 

He would do whatever it took to have what others had. Eli, his maker, used the moment to remind Punchinello of this truth: "You are special, not because of what you have, but because "you are mine." Only when little Punch falls into the hands of his loving creator, Eli does he discover he is loved absolutely, positively just the way he is.'   




When we start painting, chiseling, covering, lying about who we are... we become victims.  People have pity on us for a while, but that hole becomes bigger and bigger and then swallows us.  Nip/Tuck

This gift is our career, our purpose, everything else are the accessories.

"You can never go beyond My Love and Care.  Remember that.  No evil can befall you.  Circumstances I bless and use must be the right ones for you.  But I know always that the first step is to lay your will before Me as an offering, ready that I shall do what is best, sure that, if you trust me, what I do for you will be best.  

Your second step is to be sure, and to tell me so, that I am Powerful enough to do everything ("The hearts of kings are in My rule and goverance"), that no miracle is impossilbe with me ("With God all thngs are possible" and I and My Father are one").
Then leave all with Me.  Glad to leave all your affairs in a Master Hand.  Sure of safety and protections.  Remember, you cannot see the future.  I can.  You could not bear it.  So only little by little can I reveal it to you.  Accept My Will and it will bring you joy."  

God Calling - June 29th, A.J. Russell

Trust is the Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your way acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3: 5-6

Silver lining

This Memorial weekend I learned a very good lesson.  Hardships come not always as a consequence as some people think.  

That little boy who is hard to control teaches others 

tolerance, patience and love.  

That cousin or friend that has stage 3 lung cancer teaches us 

encouragement, selflessness and love.  

Those soldiers who have died in the war teaches us 

honor, respect and love.  

Help me to keep all my senses open and give me the 

wisdom to use it to your will, Lord. Amen.

We thought we were going to play at the park...
but there was a beach in the way.

Walking in the Memorial parade

Ice fishing in summer..appropriately dressed.

Another day, another adventure.

A garden

Wrong color, but it's a Jeep!

Blessings...

Many thanks Grandma Nelda for your love and a constant reminder soft words, smiles and amazing things do come in small packages.

One blessing becomes many in it's own season.

Knock, and it will be given to you...

Living on the corner of blessings and comfort.

I want to know what happened to the slide?  We want the slide back!!

It's not heavy, you're my brother

Tough, tough last week.  It started Sunday, just not feeling right.  The boys had the stomach flu which lasted 2 days.  It is so hard to see any of my kids sick.  Between my two boys, Mowgli got it the worst.  For a full day, Ethan regained his energy by doing Highlights, watching PBS, eating Saltines and drinking watered down apple juice.  Mowgli and I on the other hand were on the couch.  He would drink his water halfway and 15 -30 minutes later, puke it out.  At least his body demanded he keep drinking in spite of his heaving stomach.  Every time he would sleep, I would rush to get the household basics done.

By the time the end of the second day finished and tummies were healed, we were all ready to disappear into our own little corners or outside... anywhere but in the living room.


However, I still had this weight I just couldn't get past.  Was I getting the flu?  Is my Mom ok?  Is Jen ok?  Was Barrett's work getting to me?   Then I had my own temper tantrum.. about everything.  Mowgli took it in stride as he is used to me talking to myself.

I found out on Saturday 7 people needed to be desperately prayed for..and I was too busy to give everything  up to the Lord.

Worse... I added to it with my own temper tantrum.

Burdens in the Bible: Galatians 6:2 

Being a follower of Christ doesn't just mean having your own spiritual burden lifted from your shoulders by Christ. It means actively seeking out those who need help, and shouldering their burdens with them. Service to others is a critical part of the Christian faith. 

http://biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians%206:2&version=NIV

Realizing this I was again reminded of the Navy Seals practice of carrying a water filled raft. Each have their own burden, but that burden makes the burden easier on the other soldiers.    Even though no one heard my outburst, I felt petty and childish.   Imagine me doing this among a bunch of Navy Seals.. 

However, my own burdens are not to be dismissed.  The Lord and I will work through them and in the future do my job well so as not to add to the water in the raft.

I  lift Mike, Jen, Mom, Kathy, Heather, Lisa and Lynn up to the Lord for his blessing and pray He protect them, guide them and heal them.  I pray the people that are with them gain wisdom, strenth and patience to comfort them.  In Jesus Name I pray.  Amen.

Broken glass day

Psalm 142

142 I cry out loud for help from the Lord.
    I beg out loud for mercy from the Lord.
² I pour out my concerns before God;
    I announce my distress to him.
³ When my spirit is weak inside me, you still know my way.
    But they’ve hidden a trap for me in the path I’m taking.
⁴ Look right beside me: See?
    No one pays attention to me.
There’s no escape for me.
    No one cares about my life.

⁵ I cry to you, Lord, for help.
    “You are my refuge,” I say.
    “You are all I have in the land of the living.”
⁶ Pay close attention to my shouting,
    because I’ve been brought down so low!
Deliver me from my oppressors
    because they’re stronger than me.
⁷ Get me out of this prison
    so I can give thanks to your name.
Then the righteous will gather all around me
    because of your good deeds to me.

Psalm 143

143 

Listen to my prayer, Lord!

    Because of your faithfulness, hear my requests for mercy!

    Because of your righteousness, answer me!

² 

Please don’t bring your servant to judgment,

    because no living thing is righteous before you.

³ 

The enemy is chasing me,^[a]

    crushing my life in the dirt,

        forcing me to live in the dark

            like those who’ve been dead forever.

⁴ 

My spirit is weak inside me—

    inside, my mind is numb.

⁵ 

I remember the days long past;

    I meditate on all your deeds;

    I contemplate your handiwork.

⁶ 

I stretch out my hands to you;

    my whole being is like dry dirt, thirsting for you.^[b] Selah

⁷ 

Answer me, Lord—and quickly! My breath is fading.

    Don’t hide your face from me

        or I’ll be like those going down to the pit!

⁸ 

Tell me all about your faithful love come morning time,

    because I trust you.

Show me the way I should go,

    because I offer my life up to you.

⁹ 

Deliver me from my enemies, Lord!

    I seek protection from you.^[c]

¹⁰ 

Teach me to do what pleases you,

    because you are my God.

Guide me by your good spirit

        into good land.

¹¹ 

Make me live again, Lord, for your name’s sake.

    Bring me out of distress because of your righteousness.

¹² 

Wipe out my enemies because of your faithful love.

    Destroy everyone who attacks me,

        because I am your servant.

past images

Interstate Park

ferns in a pothole

a pothole we could walk down into

Looking out of the pothole

 

Looking up the St. Croix

Super simple marinade

Ok... you ready?












Onion soup mix
Dijon mustard
Olive oil












Sauce:
Onion soup mix
Dijon mustard
Maple syrup



Goes with pork and chicken....

Monkey see...tally me banana

We visited Como Park and Conservatory ... again.  We love this place!  It was a wonderfully rainy day, however, not much to do outside.  So, we went to the most summery place we could think of.... The tropical gardens!  The bananas were in season in two of the gardens... Tropical and the North Garden.  As we were walking into the North Garden, we heard a soft squishy "plop" and saw three very ripe bananas on the ground. There was a  couple with a stroller in that area and found that the bananas had landed on them.  They were looking at the fruit as if it was bird poop.  My little bear saw the bananas and knew right what to do....

The couple watched him eat it like he was eating a leftover piece of gum he found under a desk.  It was so banana-y and SWEET!  Why would you hesitate to eat something you KNEW for a FACT where it came from and how it was grown.. and you wouldn't hesitate to buy it from a store where you KNOW for a FACT it was picked green, handled by dozens of people and traveled in who knows what.   

This was cause for more ammo on my part to have a green house installed on the south side of my house.. only...the dimensions just got bigger...

Grilled orange zest pork loin

I wish I had a picture of this pork loin.. it looked so good.  But when you have 5 very hungry people, food doesn't last long in this house.

Rub:
1/4 c. brown sugar
1 T season salt
1 T onion powder
1/2 t ground cloves
2 T orange zest
1/2 t black pepper
1/2 t garlic or 1 clove crushed

Mix all together and pat over a 1 1/2 lb pork loin with fat cut off.   Leave pork loin out with rub on counter for 1 hour or leave in fridge overnight.  Make sure, like beef, before the loin is cooked, to let it sit out to take the chill off.  I'm sure Alton Brown knows the reason for this... I just found it makes the final product oh, so yummy.

Place on grill on med high for 15 minutes to get a crust.  Then lower heat to med low and cook until internal temp reads 165.  Our family doesn't like the meat so juicy, so I cook until 175-180.  Remove from grill and let sit for 15 minutes. Slice and serve.

Sauce:
 Orange juice and honey
... yup, that's it.  I'm sure you can add balsamic vinegar or mustard... just try a little in a separate bowl and see what you like.

Sides:
- baby carrots, red onions quartered and olive oil.  Place all on foil with sea salt and grill until pork is finished.

- sweet potatoes, carrots, cauliflower and olive oil.  See above.

- Grilled brushetta, cream cheese, and whatever toppings you may think of... mmmm, like bacon!




Enjoy with a little mead wine or a rum and coke.

Oh where, Oh where has my little droid gone?

I've a tracking number and no company to go with the number.  Good solution is to call up the airlines in order to solve the mystery.  It's a game I play with myself.  Why would you solve a mystery when the discovery is part of the surprise?   It's my own fault I'm in the dark most of the time.

Little story... behind all this... Went on a trip, lost my phone... no... FORGOT my phone in a bathroom and only remembered it after several minutes in the Atlanta airport.  If you've ever been the that particular airport, THERE IS NO BACKTRACKING.  You go with the flow.

So with a little faith my phone will find it's way home.   In the meantime, I am finding myself back in the 90s with no immediate communication on myself 16/7.

A little dis-concerning and unsettling even.

Doing the full circle creates holes in your socks

We came to live in Minnesota 8 1/2 years ago.  I took my daughter who was 1 at the time explored where we settled and discovered many wonderful places.  One of those wonderful places was a YMCA, library, indoor park and play area all in one.  We didn't have much money at the time and not knowing the protocol of play etiquette, we walked around the park and read books in the museum of the library.  And we were just fine.


Now, with play etiquette under my belt with a couple of self-written rules later, I visited that same place and my little Mowgli had a blast with a couple of neighborhood friends.  I am still learning about the place... 


1. Bring stretch pants and not jeans. 


2. you are immediately "in" with the kids playing on the structure, especially if you make it to the top and go
   down the stone slide.


3.  Do not assume the littlest girl cannot make it to the top while the older boys play down in the "safe" zone.


4.  DO NOT race children down the treehouse.  You will not win.  You will get a wrenched knee and bruise
     your shinbone... again.


5. Old socks, even the ones thinking about retiring will not make it.

If you only knew what I was thinking....

Romans 3:20-24

New International Version (NIV)

²⁰ Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin.

Righteousness Through Faith

 ²¹ But now apart from the law the righteousness of God has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. ²² This righteousness is given through faith in^[a] Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, ²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴ and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

A discussion http://gnli.christianpost.com/video/homosexual-forgiveness-michael-brown-3469 came to my attention regarding the attention and attitude of the church toward homosexuals.  

God doesn't look at each person as a stereotype as we do.   Each sin wreaks havoc on others, such as greed, lust, adultery, gossip, judging... We all do wrong in God's eyes.  We are each held to a standard by the people around us.  We are to lift each other up in love.  We need  share in our wrongs and help each other become better people by letting God speak through us.  

Galatians 6

Doing Good to All

 ¹ Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. ² Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. ³ If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves.

In one year I went through emotional abuse, a death, change of job, change of home, and pregnancy.  I went to a pastor and asked if I could unload and ask for help.  Through the whole discussion (if it could be labeled as that) the pastor only asked, "... and how did that make you feel?"  Just like people, pastors can be insensitive and judgmental.  However, a church is made up of more than just the pastor.  Two people can continue the life of a church because of their faith.  They understand wholly, they have no use on this earth unless Christ shines through them.  That light shines to others and unless others open themselves to this light, they have no use on this earth. 

Galatians 5:13-15

New International Version (NIV)

Life by the Spirit

 ¹³ You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh^[a]; rather, serve one another humbly in love. ¹⁴ For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”^[b] 15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

Pear tree in front of my deck... had my camera on hand for once!

Moon rising

Along Hwy 61 north of Duluth

Our favorite local state park

Interesting rocks along Lake Superior... one we COULDN'T take home.

what to do, how to choose...

A simple decision... throw it all away.  


A value pack with 50 coupons, Discover pre-approved credit card with a 10,000 limit, and a World Vision plea asking for $33.00 to help buy shoes for children.  I was going to throw it all away until I stopped and put everything in perspective...


There is a company who wants me to spend their money and 50 businesses who want me to spend it all on them.   And then there are children who can't even buy their own shoes...  


Forgive me Father when I have complained about the color of my carpet, about not finding what I'm hungry for while looking in a full refrigerator, and complaining I have nothing to wear.  Thank you for ALL the blessings you have bestowed on me.  I praise your name forever and ever.  Amen

Galatians 4: 6-7   Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Sons into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out "Abba, Father".  So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.


I have asked my Dad for everything under the sun.  Most of my requests were answered with a gentle, "Think about what you just asked for."   Yeah, maybe ballet lessons on a 40 head dairy farmers salary wasn't something my parents could do.  But I really, REALLY thought that owning a horse wasn't far fetched.  I learned 5 years and 62 bleating sheep later, my Dad had a really good idea what his head in the clouds daughter could handle.  


I need to remember that now as situations arise when there is something I really, REALLY WANT, I need to quiet myself and listen to the wisdom of my Father.  I am his heir and knowing that, he will guide me, discipline me, and reward me with what will make me a light to the world.   


Glory to God now and forever


We make the choice to be a slave to the world or a servant to all.

How do you take a 3 foot tall hulk seriously?

So thanks to my Mountain Man, my two boys know all the Marvel Comic Book superheros.

Yesterday, my youngest and I went shopping for Easter dresses for my oldest daughter and myself.  Since he has to come with me wherever I go, we share shopping experiences.

 Let me say first, I   LOVE  Goodwill and any other thrift stores.  They are perfect for my 3 children who grow 1-2 inches in 6 months to a year.

Anyways..so, while shopping, I pull the Mom card and declare "it's my turn" at looking at "girly" stuff.  Meanwhile he pokes his head out from underneath racks of clothes after hiding to see whether I'm watching him.  This game has been recently crushed after startling an older lady by mistaking her dress for the rack of clothes.... whoops.

Then it's his turn and we head for the toys isle.  This isle, I have to admit, is a treasure chest.  You find an occasional find, but otherwise it's settling for a "new" used toy.  For my Mowgli, this is just fine.

However, this last visit, WE SCORED!!  We found the right hand from a pair of Hulk foam hands.  If you could get to know my little Mowgli, it pretty much sums up his personality.  He was punching trees, the ground, and walls.  It came in handy after a disagreement over the swing, but that was nixed and he was given his last warning.

Some kids have teddy bears or woobies or pillows they cuddle with to go to sleep, he's got his Hulk hand. We just have to take the batteries out every night...I can sleep through thunderstorms; however, last night,  I had dreams of a green monster breaking walls above me and growling out "HULK SMASH PUNY HUMAN!!"

My start

This is my Dad.   WAS my Dad.  

When I think of him now,  I remember an 1976 Olive green Ford that smelled like corn dust and old oil.  I remember butter pecan ice cream at night.  I remember softball in the fields.  I remember his "presence".  What you saw was nothing compared to what was hidden in that smile, or hug, or "What you thinkin' about?"  All I needed some days was an arm over my shoulder.  That arm could have stopped armegeddon.  To me it symbolized protection, deeper love I could ever imagine, and a stronghold from which I could leap from.

He died from a massive heart attack when I needed him most, or thought I did.  I found out my wings could hold me.  I've smashed into trees, flew too high and lost my breath, and flew into places I didn't know how to get out of.  However, through all, I've stayed in the air.