Riddle me this?

Mountain Man and I are looking for a more kid friendly vehicle.  The one we have was bought for delivering exercise equipment only.  I'm using it because the day after we got it... the gas prices went through the roof. 

The two good things about it is you feel like you can run over B52 bomber and it's red.  

That's it.

Bad Gas guzzler, and you can watch how fast it guzzles too!  In pretty green florescent digital numbers!

A Kid Torture Chamber with Thing 3 being the torturer.  He's still pretty flexible so he does the splits and gets both Thing 1 and Thing 2 with a "WhupaH!!"  I get to hear the "MOOOOOOoooooOOOOMM!!"  He loves his shit-kickers, so on colder days I put Thing 1 in the front seat with the seat waaaaaay back.  She loves it.  Thing 2 still is in the back seat, but now he's the police.  "Mom!  He's throwing something out the window!"   "Mom, he's taking his shoes off!"  "Mom, he's throwing his shoes out the window!"  "Mom, he's doing SOMETHING!"   

*SIGH*

Bad thing is I can't get the new beautiful kid friendly vehicle until next tax season because... IT'S SO NICE NOT HAVING CAR PAYMENTS!!!

Life is such a riddle  or  lesson in patience.   I may just become the runner up for the Mother Theresa award.

yes... but....

So... one of my best friends live in Kazakhstan, my other best friend recently went to Aruba, my mother-in-law spent a month in Florida, my sister-in-law saw New Mexico, Mountain Man's best friend is in Florida and I'M THE ONE STUCK WITH TRAVELER'S SICKNESS!! 

WHAT . THE  .  HELL!

The good news is I am fitting into a cute little red t-shirt that I didn't think I was going to ever fit into.  

Would I rather be 15 lbs overweight and in a small villa south of France?  or would I rather be here sucking down yogurt and gallon jugs of water, 15 lbs skinnier?   

Ever had one of those days where you just want to stick your tongue out at the world, wrap up in a soft white, knitted blanket and stare out into space for the whole day?

Yeah, me too.

But I only get an hour into it after the kids have gone down for their naps

and then the phone rings, 

or the dog starts barking 

or I have to go to the bathroom.

Oh well, at least that hour told me there was more than just that cloud in the sky. 

Hello life.  Whatcha got for me today.

como park

Out of all the beautiful flowers, palms, ferns and tropical plants and fish... this magnificent creature was the best.  

A woman walked past me looking at him and said to her partner, "Let's go, this is depressing."  

Yes, but you are still walking past looking at him.  What were you expecting?  Como park takes only donations.  Enough said.

learn about the Minneapolis Como Zoo

Well now, upon a time...

Little Orley stories

After scouring the internet for down-loadable children audio books, 

I came upon this little doozy.  

My mom used to tell us these stories verbatim, 

voice inflection, accents and everything.  

Now I can pass down these priceless works of art to Thing 1 

to make her forget the awful dreams... 

which have helped by the way.  

My brave little one. 

See what????

Thing 3 was looking at something across the water.  He loves anything with a motor.  First he was looking for the plane.  

 Then he was looking for a boat... We didn't know it would be a car.

ah..... pleasures!

It's like I've been camping for the last 4 years...

We just installed a new water heater and brought the water pipes up to code.  (I don't think a rubber hose connected to the old water heater was good.)

Yesterday we were all able to take showers, run the dishwasher and I didn't have to choose which one of three light and white loads I was going run with warm water.  I could do all three!!  ... and then finish the dirty pans with hot... really hot water!!!  The plummer guys even fixed the toilet, my kitchen faucet and shined up my copper wind chime!!  And I couldn't even give them any baked goods!

Little by little, this house is starting to shine.

Rock a by baby....

Thing 1 came to bed last night and bumped Mountain Man out onto the couch.  Good thing he did because she had a HORRIFIC nightmare that she could not get out of her head.  

So I got the MP3 player with a bunch of downloaded Hans Christian Anderson stories and she listened to not one, but THREE of them.  

She's been doing so GOOD with not having nightmares or dealing with them.  I want to WRING the neck of the thing that is doing this to her.  VAMPIRES for pete's sake!  Where the heck did she find out about VAMPIRES!!!   She says school. 

That's ok.  I learned a lot of things that wasn't in the standardized curriculum.  She will also learn she has the ability to find the truth.  It may not be from me, or her dad or the teachers at her school or college.  

But like me, she WILL find the truth and she will swim in it and grow and develop and when she's 35, she will have a child like herself that she will comfort and download Hans Christian Andersen or Runyard Kipling or A.A Milne stories which her child will listen to and be comforted by.

too big for your britches...

Thing 2 was trying to stretch his wings at age 5 and testing the waters....

"Mom, when I'm 19, and I'm taller than you, I'm going to be the boss of you."

( this is coming from a 5 yr old BOY... who just told me 2 days ago, TWICE, that I'm beautiful.)  Just giving you the context of where this is coming from.

"Baby, even if you were 7 feet tall. I'd still be the boss of YOU."

Thing 2: "But, I'd be taller than you and bigger!"

"Baby, even if you were Dad's size, 7 and a half feet tall, AND the president of the United States, I'd still be the boss of you."    (At that moment, I needed to go to the kitchen to grab more milk)  

I heard as I was walking away...*sigh* "Boy, I didn't see that one coming."



I'll remember that when I think I can plan and handle my day without any help.

Have a Happy Easter!!!

http://www.uulyrics.com/music/michael-card/song-gods-own-fool/


Michael Card's "God's Own Fool" 


Seems I've imagined Him all of my life
As the wisest of all of mankind
But if God's Holy wisdom is foolish to men
He must have seemed out of His mind

For even His family said He was mad
And the priests said a demon's to blame
But God in the form of this angry young man
Could not have seemed perfectly sane

Chorus
When we in our foolishness thought we were wise
He played the fool and He opened our eyes
When we in our weakness believed we were strong
He became helpless to show we were wrong
And so we follow God's own fool
For only the foolish can tell-
Believe the unbelievable
And come be a fool as well

So come lose your life for a carpenter's son
For a madman who died for a dream
And you'll have the faith His first followers had
And you'll feel the weight of the beam
So surrender the hunger to say you must know
Have the courage to say I believe
For the power of paradox opens your eyes
And blinds those who say they can see

Chorus

So we follow God's own Fool
For only the foolish can tell
Believe the unbelievable,
And come be a fool as well

the light bulb flickers...

While I was waiting in the wings with Thing 3 at church because he thinks he can sing and talk all the time, I was making up my own sermon.  

It was Maunday Thursday and the pastor was talking about the Last Supper and how it was supposed to be a festive time.. a celebration from slavery.  I could recite the story verbatim, however, that's how close it has always come... a good story.  

Here's mine:

What if George Washington is still living or Thomas Jefferson; depending on who you believe was most influential in the making of the U.S.A.  They've been close family friends for as long as you've lived.  Helping others remain free and living well.

On the 4th of July, you decide to invite them for a picnic.  At this picnic, they tell you they will die the next day.  Not only will they die, but they will by the hand of one of the family members. 

That's as far as I got.... Thing 3 started writing on me.  Then another thought struck me... why aren't more moms Christians?  Talk about a connection with Christ... loving your children no matter what because they are yours.  Constantly helping them instructing, and disciplining them because you only want what is the best for them. 

yeah, but.... ok.

So the shots saga ended with 3 in the thigh and increased screaming with each one.  Ended abruptly when Mountain Man told him his bravery was rewarded with legos.  

sudden quiet; "Star Wars Legos?" (sniff, sniff)

Two days later I was admiring his Speeder and his braveness, he said, "Mom, I really wasn't that brave."  

I hope this honesty continues.... he'll still get rewards for having shots.

wait a minute....

Thing 2 completely FREAKED when I told him we were going to the Dr. in one hour.   

"NO!!  I'M NOT GOING!   I'M NOT GOING TO THE DR'S!  NO   NO  NO  NO  NO  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  (about 10  minutes of that)

Found out he wanted his sister to go with him.  The little scheisen told him that he was getting shots.  "Yeah, you're probably going to get shots.  I cried really hard when I got them and then I couldn't walk and my legs hurt for 2, no 3 days."

So after he calmed down to a whimper, I adamantly told him NOT to have Dr. W. put another nose on his face.  Also, if they needed to switch anything,  an ear on the forehead may work better because the two on the sides of his head were probably broken.  He actually looked at me as if I wasn't kidding. 


Mountain Man is going with him...there are no brave fronts in this house.

Dear Lord...

I pray for my children they find the talent 
not to exclude friends 
but to bring out the best 
in each person they meet. 

I also pray they find angels that help them soar.

Ewww......wait.. cool!!

Thing 2 started turning over my border bricks to see what was underneath.  I usually worked in my garden along side him and did an occasional, "Ohhh cool."  or "What it THAT?"  or  "Wow... don't bring that inside."   

Thing 3 has taken up that hobby.  I have to watch him a little more closely.  He tends to eat things.  Therefore, I'm catching the "Finding things under a rock" hobby. 

I found myself face in the dirt to see what insects can flatten themselves to live under the rocks, watching other "things" upclose, also what kind of eggs and tunnels they make.  Then little fingers push between my nose and the dirt to mess things around a bit to get things moving.  We did this for about half an hour before I realized we had turned up the entire side of the house.   

I used to admonish the kids for doing this because it just didn't look nice and made the blocks crooked.  

Wow... talk about a buzz kill.  I'm going to put myself in time-out.

here it goes....

I've started planning my Mom's 70th birthday party and it's a secret.  I'm thinking.. no, hoping no one in her family has her gift of gab and slips up.  That includes me.  I'm no gabber, I'm a thinker and I think out loud especially concrete things.  

It's 2 months out and I'm pretty much doing everything.  Only because I'm a control freak on my own ideas.  I've had this in my head since her last birthday.  Now I finally have a chance to act it out.   

I'm completely psyched on this whole situation because it doesn't include diapers, homework or Legos.  And...

I'M IN CONTROL OF THE SITUATION. 

Now, that may be all in my head.  However, even after 3 kids, I still am baffled by what my children say and do.  I'm ok if the shelter isn't available, or someone doesn't have tables, or doesn't bring in enough drinks.  That situation can be remedied.  I'm NOT ok with Thing 3 puking, while a very able Thing 1 pushes Thing 2 out into the front lines at that very moment to ask for a snack with chocolate milk.

Did I mention the party is 4 hours away with no Mountain Man help?  Just give me my ipod and some chocolate and a little cocktail if you have it.....

get me out of here!!!

A grandfather took his grandson, William, to a Civil War Re-enactment one afternoon.  Being 5 years old, the re-enactment seemed so real to Will that he didn't want anything to do with being up close and personal with the actors.  So the grandfather took William to a hill overlooking the battle all the while reassuring him these were just actors with fake guns and no one was dying.  William was starting to calm down and watch the action when a general close to them yelled, "Alright boys!  Fire at Will!  Fire at Will!!"

I'll show you mine....

The best thing about spring is that you get all dirty.  It's been around 50-65 all week for Thing 1 and Thing 2's spring break.  For Minnesota, that's amazing. The best thing.... the kids' boogers are a whole different colour.  That's how I can tell they had a good day.

.

Whatever - Part II

There's just some people you hope do well after you're through with them... 

http://shop.kindredmarket.com/collections/all-tees

.....and there is people that you hope their 6th business goes under..... again.   Yes, a woman scorned.  I'll get over it..... after my therapy session.

Have a great day.

Whatever...

Why is it I never have my camera when eagles are around or within shooting distance?

Why is it when I turn my back at the park, that's the moment Mogli decides to see if he can fly?

Why is it I find the exact right words minutes before or after a conversation or a fight?

Why can I find the right clothes to wear any other day but when I need to show off, I look like a hooker going to church?

Why do I have my most profound thoughts right before falling asleep?