the pits of stench

We recently added a water softener and reverse osmosis filtration system to our long list of home improvements. Our water table that lays hidden under our fair town has been violated so bad by Anderson's, several service stations, bus garages, 3M and various farmers, we have had to go to the next level of water filtration. We also found out a form of methane gas has been found in our ground that nobody has a clue what it will do and how it got there. Hypothesis has run to the possiblity that there are so many chemicals in the ground, it has built up in the rumbling tummy of our area and is producing a continuous fart. Thank goodness there is no smell. I already have to deal with the sickly sweet smell of plastic wood varnish whenever the breeze turns northerly from Andersen's Windows. So, in the days to come, we will see how our health has been affected, how it will be improved and what, if anything, the various violators will do about these problems. Right now, I'm going to eat some cauliflower, broccoli, onions, fajitas, Doritos and drink a case of beer and see if I emit an unusual methane gas. Power to the elements table!!