Running Blind by Faith

While I was in the bathroom at my work, I noticed I had left the door unlatched. What was more interesting, I didn't then latch it. I just swung it a little more closed. After a few seconds of wondering why I did this, I concluded that it's the same reason why I have eyes on the bottom of my chin. I have also found there is no use in asking yourself "What if..." after your child crams 5 pieces of cheese in their mouth and proceeds to choke on it while sitting beside you. Also a picture taken by your daughter is more precious than your more careful one taken of her in the bath. This blog is dedicated to my daughter Kya who at the least expected moments makes me realize God really does know what he's doing.

Deserved Chances

Angela stood in front of me in my kitchen talking on her cell phone getting her next flight assignment, rolling her eyes. The stereotypical beautiful 40 year old off duty 5 foot 8 inch blond flight attendant with her highlighted blond hair caught up in her ball cap, everlast tank with a zippered sweatshirt and size 8 thin jeans. I stood there thinking how lucky I am to know a beautiful person like this who is so much more that what she looks like. "Amsterdam! When am I leaving?.... 9:30?..... O.K. That gives me 4 hours." She looked over to me. "Can I send my friend Eliza, instead?" She laughed hysterically telling me she didn't want to go. "Well, it was a chance anyways. Thanks Paul, I'll call back to get the rest of the details... O.K..... Bye." "What chance do I have of impersonating you?" I asked smiling Angela laughed. "Oh, I would get in so much trouble...I could just give you my uniform and you would just walk in and take over...." She hesitated laughing and I watched her while laughing wondering whether my cell phone would reach that far thinking she could just talk me through it.. "Wouldn't it be awesome? You're going to Amsterdam tonight!!" I said smiling my eyes wide open. "You know, I've been doing this for so long, it's like going to St. Paul for me... no big deal. It's awful I've gotten accustomed to the flights." Angela said rolling her eyes again. "Could we trade places?" I asked partially serious. "That's all I want to do tonight! I could do this. Not all the time though... Sometimes I wonder how you do this? Keep a clean house, all your projects, and have happy kids." I snorted, "You're kidding! The house is a mess! I need to finish washing the camping clothes, vaccum, fold and put away the mound of clothes on the couch and haven't even gotten to the pot of tomatoes and beans to wash and cook to can." I said scrubbing my face with my hands. Angela leaned close, "But those are your projects, that's a working house! The most important thing is that your kids are happy, the rest is pudding." I nodded. "Yeah, I wouldn't trade. I couldn't do a red eye and then sleep through the day to get up and do another red eye to Tokyo. But it would be nice to have a little blip once in a while. Now that Barry has his boat, he's happy since he figured he deserved it. I agree with him with his own life in context. How do you know what you deserve. If it's available and the pieces fit together that the getting is easy, then yes, it was deserved. Cause and effect. You don't know whether or not until it actually happened. If we're talking of deserving, I think squatting two kids out deserves more than what I want. Life tells you what you deserve and I have kids from a marriage. I want Italy, my dad wanted an elk farm in Colorado, but he got 50 years on a dairy farm and 3 kids. But like I said, I wouldn't change my life...I just couldn't do the dating scene again.... speaking of dating, did you ever get a call from the guy from the bar?" I said taking a breath. Angela laughed, "No, and I'm glad. Did he call you about playing softball?" "No... I don't think he would have really fit in our league. He seemed really competative." "Yeah, I think he was trying to find people to attach to since he's only been here 5 months." I nodded, "I think we're a little more laid back than Las Vegas people or at least the people going into MGM." Angela laughed as the baby monitor squawked sounding a lot similar to Ethan's screach. "Duty calls," I said motioning at the monitor with my head. As Angela walked out the door, she called back, "I'll bring you some gouda!"

Poop and peace

I try showing everything is peachy keen on most days to neighbors, coworkers, and friends.

I am a boring matter of fact woman

who cannot keep her hands off of her

husband because he is so damn cute.

I discipline my children more often on my "broken glass" days and love them up even more minutes after "time-out".

I learned to love my eternal friend,

confidont, and lover while separated

from my first husband.

I would rather avoid face to face conflict by swallowing my own intuitions and needs.

I am a coward.

I have endured separation, death of my father, job change, career change, divorce, 2 moves, birth of my daughter and image change all in 2 years.

I have found I am nobody but myself

and I have a purpose in life that when

I finally figure it out, I'll find myself in heaven.

I have found to work with the grasshoppers in your garden, because God has put them there for your use and enjoyment.

I have 4 best friends who have been

with me through all of this, and still love me.

All of this is called life and I did none of this alone thanks to the love of my Father in heaven and the angels here on earth, especially my husband.

Moments

Think of the last "moment" you had. You know, moments that are always remembered when it's triggered by smell, sight, etc. Mine was camping. My husband and daughter had gone down early in the morning to catch our breakfast. After a couple of hours and several cups of coffee, my son and I followed to see if they needed water or food. The morning was still very quiet with loons calling and the wind in the tops of the trees. Water was laping at the shore and docks. The air was fresh with lake water and dew from the grass. Every step I took was a meeting of the uncomplicated. And then I saw Kya and Barrett fishing. It's that thought in your mind you remember from way back while trying on your wedding dress. Or while talking to your significant other about things you'd be doing 5-10 years from now. And it's finally come to fruition, but you'd never dreamed it would be this good.