I was privileged to listen to one of the "Biggest Loser" contestants speak at our church. Aside from all the weight loss tips, she linked them to her journey in her discipleship with Jesus. She always had excuses. She was always comparing herself to others. "At least I don't look like that" ... or..."Am I really that big???""
She also realized as she grew in her faith, just like losing her weight, she needed to have the courage to show others her before and after picture from where she came from and her journey with her struggles, failures and successes.
The climb to become fit was a huge struggle and she said the first 20 minutes were so uncomfortable and painful that she prayed Jesus would come at that moment and save her from the work. But Jesus did so much more than that... he sent Dolvett and her teammates...she grew so much more and came home determined to shine with the strength God had given her and to show her how to use it.
I sat there and listened and learned to be okay with my weaknesses... God uses your "quirks" to his advantage. God wants you to screw up and find his endless ocean of love and forgiveness. He wants you to be in pain calling out His name wishing he would come and rescue you.
I am anxious 95% of the time in my day. I am constantly lifting my hands in the air, literally giving my worries to Him. I am so chaotic inside, that I cannot put together a single thought without sitting and thinking it through for 10 minutes.
I am the queen of delayed responses.
If I am expected to answer, my responses are usually met with a tilt of the head and blank stares. I wake up every morning and ask the Holy Spirit to translate my words so that when they leave my mouth, they are taken with the love, patience and understanding that I intended them to be sent out with. I am so insecure that I do not say what's on my mind when I really need to say something. I feel like Moses... yet I do not have the important job of saving thousands of people.....
or do I???
I know God speaks to me. I feel the burden of people I love on my grey days...now that I have come to know that I thank God that he is using me.
Even though I feel like screaming and crying on those days, I thank God through the tears that he has come to give me strength and that I can lean on him and give him the burdens to help me hold.
Thank you Jesus for showing me my weakness so that I may grow with your strength, your love, your peace and your understanding.
To God be the glory.
