"You can never go beyond My Love and Care. Remember that. No evil can befall you. Circumstances I bless and use must be the right ones for you. But know always that the first step is to lay your will before Me as a offering, ready that I shall do what is best, sure that, if you trust me, what I do for you will be best.
Your second step is to be sure, and to tell me so, that I am Powerful enough to do everything ("The hearts of kings are in My rule and goverance"), that no miracle is impossible with me ("With God all things are possible" and "I and my Father are one").
Then leave all with Me. Glad to leave all your affairs in a Master's Hand. Sure of safety and protections. Remember, you cannot see the future. I CAN. You could not bear it.
So only little by little can I reveal it to you. Accept My Will and it will bring you joy."
God Calling - June 29th, A.J. Russell
Yesterday I held my children a little closer. It was a test of letting go as my daughter went to a sleepover. She's gone to plenty where I can let go for a night... however, I kept going to her room to check on her only to see an empty bed.
It was a rough night.
I have had my share of grief over my lifespan to know a person's words of comfort are just that... words of comfort. There is no depth to them... they don't know what to do but talk. They can't take the hurt away. They can only stand and watch the pain rip through your face and watch as the continuous tears soak through their shirt. I heard a pastor on our local christian radio station speak of a long and happy life. He said to pray that nothing will happen to you and your family is to ask for complacency, ignorance, to be spoiled and to never strengthen your character. To say in a tragedy, "I don't believe God wanted or willed this to happen" is to think you understand his proceedings. Also to say that it's God will... is the same way. All I know is the REAL comfort and strength I received was not instantaneous, it didn't take the hurt away, it strengthen me, it made me realize to put my efforts into the more important things on this earth and to just trust. This is my way of grieving, not anyone else's.
I had some peace over the events that happened only because of one phrase that kept running through my head in the morning even before the shooting started. It was like a bad song stuck in my head. I kept hearing,
"They are not yours to begin with."
Not knowing what the context was, I ignored it... until the evening while grieving over the parents loss and ANGRY at the gunman.
Children are priceless, unfinished works of art entrusted to us, mere humans, by God. We take their actions and words personally whether inside our house or in the public eye as a reflection of us. We forget they WILL be who God wants them to be in spite of our controlling attitudes of who we think they should be like or become.
What ifs are horrible. We have no control over what will happen, but should question our environment with common sense to know our surroundings. I'm a "I see something shiny" person. I saw our house and plopped our family in this town, not knowing what it held. It has proven a very good fit for our family with schools, neighborhoods, friends and environment. There are always pros and cons to every situation. That school community where the shootings happened may have been the same way. We don't know.
What I do know is, while a struggle everyday, God knows me and what I need to do. He knows my family and what they need to do. If He wants them home whether by a shooting, cancer or after a long rewarding life, that's His choice. Job did everything right... but God reminded him it was HE who created the universe and breathed life into our bodies. It's a tough thought that we are controlled this way, but by a VERY LOVING FATHER who wants and will do the best for us and give us all the riches and inheritance we need.
We grieve very differently and it's ok to feel what you feel about the events that happened in Connecticut. I pray you will find comfort and peace.
I pray strength and comfort for the families that have lost a child. I pray strength and peace for Sandy Hook Elementary and the Newtown community as they grieve over the tragedy and I pray for healing. In Jesus Name, Amen.
