I always needed to prove myself, being good, being intelligent, being valued somehow. I know everyone feels this way because I have never met a person who didn't.
For that reason, I feel the need to share this with you and hope the feeling that comes with these words give you hope and peace and contentment like it gave me.
It came after a horrible nightmare...
I was praying for everyone that came to mind and finally the last person I prayed for told me, "I got this," and instantly we (a variety of people) were caught up in something that I couldn't quite figure out. I first thought it was some sort of blanket but the texture was wrong. I then thought it was made of gold but it was just the color. Then I thought we were caught up in straw but, again, the wrong texture.
I noticed we were moving around which seemed like on water slides, twisting and turning but it wasn't in tunnels. As I was trying to figure out what, where, and how, I realized those questions didn't matter. I felt I belonged. I felt more and more content and happy. Where I was going was good and right.
As soon as I felt all of that, I was given perspective and found I had been caught up in a paint brush. I was being used with all the others to paint a glorious painting. The subject and detail of the painting was not important. What was important was that I was being used to give the painting that little something I only could.
I didn't have to be there. I wasn't really needed. The painting was going to be painted no matter what. But I was chosen amongst others to give "flavor" and depth to the end result. I was chosen with the color from the beginning when the image of the painting came to the Artist's mind.
My wish for you is to understand, without a shadow of a doubt, you are valued no matter what you have done and what you haven't done, good or bad.
11 In him we were also chosen, having been predestined
according to the plan of him who works out everything
in conformity with the purpose of his will,
12 in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ,
might be for the praise of his glory.
13 And you also were included in Christ
when you heard the message of truth,
the gospel of your salvation.
When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal,
the promised Holy Spirit,
14 who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance
until the redemption of those who are God’s possession
—to the praise of his glory. Ephesians 1:11-14
Psalm 139:13-18
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
